Nicole Kerr, MA, LPCC

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Five tools to manage stress

It’s that time of year again:  summer is ending and school is starting.  For some, this is an exciting time- parents are relieved that their children have structure again and students are excited to be reunited with their friends.  For many, however, this time of year is far from exciting.  It means more homework, less sunlight, and added stress.  Whether you are a student feeling anxious about going back to school, or a young adult feeling sad that summer is ending (with winter just around the corner), here are five tools that can be useful in managing stress in the moment.  

  • Rectangular Breathing – Often when we are stressed or anxious our breathing is quick and shallow, which contributes to a rapid heart rate. One way to slow our heart rate down is through deep breathing. To begin the exercise, start by noticing your breath and work to slow it down by taking a deep breath in to the count of 4, and a deep breath out to the count of 6. If 4 and 6 doesn’t work for you, try 3 and 5, or 5 and 7. Just make sure that your exhale is always longer than your inhale, as the exhale is what helps to create the relaxation response.

  • Ice – Ice simulates what’s referred to as the “dive reflex.” If you were to jump into an ice-cold body of water, your body would start to shut down in order to conserve energy to survive. Ice activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which functions to relax us and calm us down. Additionally, if you imagine yourself jumping into an ice-cold body of water, my guess is you would not be thinking about what happened that day or what you have to do when you get home, you’d be thinking “holy cow it’s cold!” Often times when we are anxious, it’s because we are stuck in our thoughts. Ice helps bring our attention to our body and away from our thoughts. You can use ice by putting an ice pack on your forehead or on the back of your neck. You can also freeze a water bottle so that you can carry it around with you throughout the day and no one will look at you strange for carrying around an ice pack ☺.

  • Self-Sooth – When a baby is in distress, it is the caregiver’s job to sooth the baby. This soothing can be done through the five senses. For example, if a baby boy is crying his mother might give him a bottle (taste), sing to him (sound), wrap him in a blanket and rock him (touch), or put him in his crib with a mobile above (sight). As we get older, we need to learn how to sooth ourselves when we are in distress. We can do this the same way, through our five senses. One way to make sure you always have something on hand is to develop a “self-sooth kit.” Gather at least five soothing items that you can carry with you in your backpack, purse, bag, etc. that you can use during times of distress. Here’s my self-sooth-kit: My iPhone- which has my music and pictures of my dog (sound and sight), gum and chocolate (taste), a stress ball (touch) and a small bottle of my favorite essential oil (smell).

  • Distract – Sometimes when we are anxious or stressed, we simply need something that can help take our mind off of what’s making us anxious. Examples include playing a sport, watching a funny YouTube video, reading a book, or talking to a friend. It’s important to note that distraction can be effective, if used at the right time and not as a form of avoidance. For example, this does not mean whipping out your phone in the middle of class to watch a funny YouTube video, nor does it mean staying in your room for days on the computer in order to avoid talking to your friend. It’s most effective when you use it as a way to decrease the intensity of your anxiety so that you can then be more effective in facing whatever it is that is making you anxious or stressed in the first place.

  • Exercise- If you regularly exercise, you probably already know that a good sweaty workout makes you feel better, not just physically but emotionally too. Exercise produces endorphins, which are “feel-good” chemicals in the brain. They help induce feelings of pleasure and euphoria. If you are not a regular exerciser, that’s okay. Start small and do one thing a day that gets your heart rate up. Run down the street, walk up and down the stairs, jump in the pool for a few laps, or do ten jumping jacks. Afterwards, notice if your emotion changed. If you were feeling stressed, do you feel less stressed? Do you feel more optimistic? Take note of the changes every time.